Dare to Self Improve

Continuing from yesterday…

So after we broke into this impromptu salsa, I noticed a big change in the girl I was with. All of a sudden, she was acting so much more comfortable with me. I mean, before she was comfortable and our conversation flowed naturally, but now, after our fun dance that involved a lot of touching, she was much more “touchy feely” than before.

I’ve actually done this Salsa thing twice, and both times it had almost identical results. The girl touches me a lot more, and the romance is ramped up a level. Anyone can do this to because I’m not even a great salsa dancer. I’ve taken a wopping TWO salsa lessons in my life. I know a couple of twirls, and aside from that, I just mess around and have fun. It’s not about showing off your dance skills, but rather about initiating some fun, playful physical contact.

Try it out and let me know how it goes.

Welp, I decided to share one of the little things I like to pull out on a first date, when I decide I need to ramp things up a bit. Sometimes, for whatever reason, during the course of the date, I may not have been able to get enough physical contact in with my date. It could be because there’s a table separating us, or the environment is not conducive to it…whatever!

So after leaving whatever venue we were in, I spontaneously ask, “Hey! Do you know how to Salsa?” If she says “yes” then I’ll say something like, “Good, then you should be able to keep up!” If she says “no,” then I’ll say “Well, it’s time for your first lesson!” Without hesitation, I take her hands and begin Salsaing right there on the sidewalk or street! Now we are holding hands, dancing, having fun, and doing something a little bit crazy!

So how has doing this made things more comfortable? I’ll expand on that tomorrow.

Women are particularly sensitive to touch! You’ll notice immediately if a girl likes you (friendship, romance, or otherwise) because she’ll begin touching you subconsciously, in the midst of conversation. Grabbing your arm, playfully tapping your knee etc. For women, touch is a definite sign of comfort.

Generally when I first meet a woman, we usually exchange hand shakes (or in my case, I try to make it more fun by doing high fives or some cooky, “hip,” made up, secret handshake). By the time we’re ready to part ways though, I almost always go for the hug (even if it’s the “I don’t know you super well side-hug”). Still, doing this ramps up the rapport between you.

If we’ve had any sort of a connection or great conversation, then I’ll go for the full-on hug! A note about hugs: there’s nothing more disappointing and anti-climacitc than a weak hug! You’ve got to give a good SQUEEZE!!! Whether or not they realize it, the woman will feel more comfortable (as will I) next time we see each other. AND of course when I see them again, I’ll go in for a nice big hug!

Think about the people whom you touch (in any sense). One of the reasons people shake hands, give high fives, hug each other etc when first greeting, is that it breaks down the comfort barrier. Obviously with hand shakes this is minimal, but it’s still something.

The people we touch without hesitation or reservation are usually friends and family right? That’s because we have a lot of comfort with them. The great thing about touch, is that we can use it in reverse to BUILD comfort with people whom we meet! Touching is so powerful and immediately makes people feel warmer towards you.

For example, when passing through a crowded area, I usually give people a light double tap on the back of their shoulder as I’m trying to get by. Usually, they go out of their way to make room for you as opposed to just trying to squeeze through without the tap.

More coming tomorrow!

A simple touch is supremely powerful form of communication and building comfort. But, there is a definite skill or “art form” in doing it right. There are two ways that utilizing this mechanism can work out for you: you can either come off as charming and friendly, or as a sleezy creeper.

The most important thing to remember about touch, is to do so within the context of whatever conversation of action is going on. When I meet people and start telling them a story, early on at some point, I’ll touch both people next to me on the back of their shoulders just to make sure they’re listening. I also happen to get very animated when telling stories, so this is no shock. People, both guys and girls, just seem to open up more to you when you initiate some light, friendly, non-invasive physical contact.

I’ll talk more about this throughout the week.

Most of us hate the dreaded arrival of Monday! Five straight days of work until our next weekend finally arrives! Well, recently, I’ve noticed that my weeks tend to really fly by! This week especially was just a blur. It feels like it was Saturday just a couple of days ago! Well, I noticed a commonality between the weeks that fly by.

Having small little activities two or three times a week that I can look forward to, really makes the week fly by. I met up with a bunch of friends for a fun Taco Tuesday this week, and went to the baseball game on Thursday. For some reason, having these little bouts of excitement during my week, really makes it fly by.

You know the old cliche. “Time flies when you’re having fun.” Make some time for fun during your work week and watch it fly by!

So I just recently finished reading a short book called “Siddhartha” by Hermann Hesse. It’s a fictional book about a young man’s journey to self discovery. So why would I recommend a fictional book on a blog about self improvement? Because there’s a lot you can take away from the story.

There are two big things that I took away from the novel.
1. Self-fullfillment and self-discovery are ongoing and and endless journeys. If you think that once you reach the ever escalating pinnacle, you will be happy, then you are fooling yourself. Enjoyment lies in the journed itself, not at the end.

2. Live in the present. Enjoy everything around you and worry not what potential problems time may bring. I actually found some of the priniciples in this book to parallel “The Power of Now” by Ekhart Tolle.

Anyways, I would definitely recommend taking a gander at this book, especially since it’s so short, you can read it in a day or two.

We all hear the common harpings that caffein is not healthy for you. This is true…for the most part. Caffeine is addictive and can adversely affect your health causing headaches and hyperactivity. A lot of students use it as an “upper” while studying, or more commonly, when drinking to get a double boost when coupled with alcohol.

However, there is a good use to caffeine as well. Having some caffeine intake prior to working out has been shown to increase your fat-burning capabilities! Other than the obvious positive side effect of amping up your workouts, it produces positive metabolic stimulation conducive to fat loss. In fact, a lot of overpriced, over the counter fat burners use caffeine as one of their main ingredients.

So, instead of spending tons of money on these pills, have a cup of coffee before working out to increase the fat burning thermostat!

Lets Finish up the series, shall we?

Combine Activities and Add Incentive. Sometimes focusing on things that need to get done isn’t always fun. One way I am able to convince myself for finishing activities is by combining things I have to do, with things I like. For example, I have a lot of writing projects going on right now. By the time I get home from work and working out, I’m usually pretty tired. Sure I like writing, but admittedly, it’s also tempting to sit on the couch and watch TV.

Instead, I go over to the coffee shop and treat myself to a nice cop o’ java as I do my writing. I like the atmospher as well as the coffee. This provides me with an incentive (since money from these isn’t immediate) to do my writing.

Plan rewards for yourself for getting things done! If you finish your taxes a month ahead of time, go buy a nice shirt! If you run an extra mile, reward yourself with a little extra dessert!

They say the best reward though, is the reward of giving. So, as you’re doing these tasks with intense focus, and planning rewards to give out, keep in mind that I enjoy massages, ice cream, and exotic vacations

Today we’re on to part five of the “Focusing” series, and I want to share something I learned from two books I recently read. “The Power of Now” by Ekhart Tolle, and “Siddartha”

5. Be in the NOW. I know I used to have trouble focusing on tasks because I’d always be thinking about my plans for later or about things that happened earlier. At the very least, commit an alotted time to perform the activity, and let go of everything else that has happened or might happen. Be in the PRESENT and focus on the task at hand!

Being in the now also helps you enjoy everything so much more. Angre is related to the past. Fear and stress are related to the future. All of these things make focusing (and happiness) incredibly difficult. Be in the present to be happy and focussed!